Sirius and His Sexy Parties
by The Werewolf Mage
Summary: Sirius gets bored, so he decides to throw a sexy party. (Rated because it's not TOO bad. Will change the rating if someone says so)


Title: Sirius and His Sexy Parties

Summary: Sirius gets bored, so he decides to throw a sexy party.

A/n Forgive me. I swear I don't know what came over me. Enjoy.

It was a very hot summer's day and Sirius Black was bored. And he was letting everyone know about it. "Remus, I'm bored."

"I know you are, Sirius. You don't have to tell me every five seconds."

Sirius turned to James. "James, I'm bored."

"I hear you the first seventeen times." James muttered, laying ontop of the airvents.

"Peter, I'm..."

"I know! You're bored!" Peter groaned.

The four of them sat in silence for awhile. Sirius was staring at the clock. "Falling in love with the clock?" Remus asked.

"No, I just realized... Do you guys know what it's time for?"

"Lunch?" James asked hopefully.

"No, it's time... for a SEXY PARTY!"

"You and your sexy parties." Remus groaned.

"I'll be back." Sirius grinned. Moments later, the lving room was full of scantly-clad women, three very confused Marauders, and 60's disco lounge music was coming from nowhere, not to mention, anything else Sirius could get his hands on.

"I'm so glad Lily's not here." James muttered.

"I'm glad none of the girls are here. We'd be dead men." Remus murmured.

"That we would." Peter sighed.

They all watched as Sirius chattered away with a brunette. "I thought he didn't like brunettes."

"I thought so, too."

"Hell, obviously, as long as it's female, he's fine."

"Come on, guys! It's a party! A SEXY party!" Sirius laughed, all signs of boredom gone.

"Yeah, Sirius, sure thing." Remus muttered, looking around for a chance to escape Sirius and his insanity before the girls got back. He, for one, did not want to feel the wrath for four very angry, and possibly jealous, females.

James, however, was trying to get away from a blonde in purple lingerie. She was making passes at him and he was close to making passes back at her. The only thing that stopped him was the thought of Lily, and how slow and painful his death would be.

Peter had dove into the coat closet beside the front door. He was waiting for any chance to leave. The sight of Sirius acting like a moron and dancing around like a stripper scarred him for life.

"Moony, you thirsty?" Sirius asked, grinning sweetly.

"No, I'm not."

"Damn. How did you know I spiked this?"

"Well, the fact that James is attempting to bathe in a punchbowl kind of gives it away." Remus said, surpressing a grin.

"You think you're so smart." Sirius muttered.

"I KNOW I'm smart. And I know you're going to get your arse handed to you once the girls get back."

"No, I won't." Sirius grinned smugly. "And do you know why?"

"No, Sirius. Why is that?" Remus asked.

"Because everyone'll be gone in an hour, and the girls won't be back for TWO hours."

"What if they come back early?"

"They won't."

While Remus and Sirius were having a battle of wits, Peter had snuck outside. The little squealer was going to tell the girls what was happening, as soon as he could find them. He found then in Madam Malkine's robeshop. Lily and Gen were fussing over dressrobes and colors. Marci was getting fitted. And Celeste was calmly choosing what she wanted. "You've got... to get... to Sirius's..." he panted.

"Why?" Celeste asked.

"He's... having another... sexy party..." Peter said, still gasping for breath.

"Another one?" Gen asked. Peter nodded. "You mean, he's had more than one?" Again, Peter nodded.

"Well, girls, let's go. Thank you, Peter."

The girls headed to Sirius's as soon as they could. Which, was about half an hour. But when they got there, the sexy party was in full swing.

"What... is going on here?" Celeste hissed.

Remus and James ran and hid behind the girls, both pleading that they had nothing to do with it. They were innocent bystanders.

"...and Sirius spiked our drinks..."

"...and he's been doing the nasty..."

"...and he's trying to set us up..."

"How did you find out?" Sirius asked them, trying to look sweet and innocent.

"A little rat told us. And what are we going to do with you?" Gen asked.

"Forgive me?"

"Get this shit out of here and then we'll decide your punishment." Lily snapped. "Oh, and, no magic."

Four hours later, Gen, Remus, Lily, Celeste, Marci, and Peter were outside, on blankets and towels, attempting to doze, which was hard, with the crashes and other noises coming from inside the house.

"Come on, guys! Help me, please? I promise I'll never have another sexy party again!" Sirius pleaded, sticking his head out the window.

"You hear something?" Gen asked Remus.

"Not a thing." he laughed.

The End!

A/n

And the moral being, never have a sexy party... I think...


End file.
